Go As Guided

Testimonials:

Why people love coaching...

"Coaching for me has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one"

"[coaching] works like magic!"

"You've been very supportive, intuitive, efficient and fun as a coach, and above all non-judgemental"

"I cannot speak too highly of Ruth’s continual support, empathic manner and superb coaching abilities."

"I have never felt better. Deciding to work with Ruth is one of the most wonderful and life-enhancing decisions I have ever made; I only wish I’d done this earlier."

"Ruth is a practical, warm, intuitive, knowledgeable coach... Through being coached by Ruth, I discovered validation of myself and acknowledged that whatever stage I'm at, it's okay. It's not enough to say that Ruth Hadikin is a brilliant coach. It is true, but that doesn't begin to express her deep and thorough understanding of what motivates people and her instinctive knowing of what stage they're at and where they need to go next. Such a skill is not merely valuable, but priceless."

Julie Plenty, Personal and Business Coach, (UK)

"I was not happy at work and this had been a thorn in my side for several years. The exercises we worked through together, particularly the one about personal boundaries have helped enormously. I feel a lot more self-assured and happier within myself. I've learned to trust my feelings and they have served me well. I have decided to work for myself. There is so much to do and a lot of uncertainty but I know that I can make it work. That kind of feeling and inner strength is something I did not have before I started a coaching programme with you. Thanks for your help and support"

Theresa Mc Gouran, Founder and Director, TM Investigations.(UK)

"Working with Ruth as my Life Coach has helped me clarify what's important in my life and as a result I can now see clearly where I want my business to go and what steps I need to get there."

Nicola Hall, Company Director, NbLife Ltd(UK)

It was not just luck that I came across Ruth as my life coach. As an experienced midwife, I found that I was unable to control the stress that was building up in my life. Working with Ruth as coach, my stress level was down by 80% in just over two months! Everything is back in perspective, and I am beginning to enjoy my life again. I consider myself fortunate to have Ruth as my life coach partner, as I progress through this journey of finding the real me."

Jacqui, Midwife, Merseyside (UK).

"There I was a middle-aged woman who had been in the same dull job for years, deciding at the ripe old age of fifty to go back to college and study something completely different. Eighteen months into my three-year diploma course I was teetering on the edge of :'I can't do this, I'm not clever enough'. At that point Ruth became my coach, and changed my attitude towards myself. YES! I am clever enough - I will get through this. Ruth is the best thing. How lovely it felt, just having someone who is completely there for you, week after week for that lovely chat. Plus the beautiful poems and E-mails sent between calls to keep you going. Coaching for me has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one."

Y.C. Mature Student, Liverpool (UK)

Choosing Ruth as my coach has been the best decision I could have ever made. I have experienced a tremendous amount of growth in the last 6 months under her wisdom, patience, support, understanding, guidance, love and encouragement. Thru our work together I have a deeper understanding and love for myself. I am now able to take my own coaching clients further in their personal journey. When one so precious gives of their wisdom and love it cannot help but spread, lives touching lives, through out all the world. Thank You Ruth, you are truly amazing."

Sandy Tremp, Life Coach, Phoenix, AZ (USA)

"I am very happy I picked you to be my coach. I am particularly pleased because you use your intuition in the coaching process which makes it much 'smoother', and it helps me feel like we are on the same wavelength. It also helps us get to the important issues that much quicker! When we spoke over the phone the first time, I felt that you use your intuition more than any other coach I had spoken with. You've also helped me look at my life with someone else's eyes - now I ask myself questions that you might ask during the call. It is more fun doing it together though! You've been very supportive, intuitive, efficient and fun as a coach, and above all non-judgemental."

M.S. Engineer and Teacher. (UK & Europe).

Many thanks for your invaluable support. I wouldn't have got this far without you"

C.L. Journalist, Lancashire (UK)

"I feel both the articles and the coaching itself are extremely helpful, being removed from one's normal environment makes it feel somewhat safer to admit that things could be better, if only we knew how to change - well now we can find out."

S.W.Anaesthetist.(UK)

"[coaching] worked/works like magic! I got through the last 2 weeks... with a much better spirit - using visualisation and affirmation. ..have already presented a seminar.. with help of noticing first signs of tension/panic, breathing and affirmations and it was good. Thank You!!"

M.S. Student Midwife, Scotland(UK)

"During the past six months, I have been fortunate enough to benefit from the services which Ruth provides to assist me through a period of personal and professional crisis. I initially used Ruth's telephone coaching service and more recently the e-coaching service. Without the foundation of professional integrity, warmth and mutual respect which Ruth quickly established, it would not be possible to feel in a "safe enough environment" in which to endeavour to further my personal and professional development. I have often found the advice or suggestions which Ruth offers to be hard to fully grasp or even believe on first hearing. However, so far I have invariably found her ideas to be worth either persevering with or revisiting at a later date. Moreover I have found my confidence in Ruth's coaching (and my subsequent courage to face current and future challenges) further strengthened by reference to other resources such as books and professionals from other disciplines. Using a personal coach is a good example in itself of trying something new which originally felt like moving into uncertain (and frightening) territory. My personal views have changed significantly concerning working with Ruth to such an extent that I would now unreservedly recommend Ruth's services to people from all age groups and walks of life. I have found regular reviews of my progress with Ruth to be invaluable measures and reminders of how much I have achieved and progressed during the past few months. This also serves as inspiration for continuing to work hard with, and get the best from Ruth and her diverse talents and experience. Ruth has made a significant contribution on my journey towards self-discovery and self-worth. I realise that regardless of how long I work with Ruth, there will be many of the changes I am in the process of incorporating into my life including key phrases, topics and advice which will be useful in the future. In particular this would relate to the degree to which one should value and care for oneself."

Clare Robson, IT consultant, North Wales.(UK)

"When I first contacted Ruth I didn't know which direction to take in my life. I had lost my job through chronic fatigue and felt bewildered and unsure about the future. Assisted by Ruth's amazing gift of directing me to look inside myself for answers and not externally. I am now on a wonderful journey of self discovery and growth. Ruth has a unique ability to assist you in the realisation that everyday experiences and feelings, no matter how painful, are opportunities for spiritual growth, and should be honoured. I am no longer worrying about my future, as I know that through the wonderful work I am doing with Ruth, it will become clear, when I am ready."

Myra Wylupek, Edinburgh, Scotland.(UK)

"When I asked Ruth to be my coach, I was facing a huge crisis at work and was on the verge of handing in my notice as a teacher. My self-confidence was very low and I hardly dared believe that I could take control of my life and start to enjoy life again. After speaking to Ruth for an initial chat, I felt exhilarated and confident that I had found a great genuine coach who would help me to become the best I could be. I have had Ruth as a coach for four months and I can only marvel at the changes in my life. I have been able to turn the situation around at work and am now looking forward to moving on in my career. Ruth's coaching sessions have afforded me the chance to regain my self esteem and sense of purpose; her intuition and insights are so helpful and relevant - everything begins to fall into place after a few sessions; I have never felt better. Deciding to work with Ruth is one of the most wonderful and life-enhancing decisions I have ever made; I only wish I'd done this earlier. I cannot speak too highly of Ruth's continual support, empathic manner and superb coaching abilities. Ruth is the dream coach who has given me the confidence to stop worrying and start living again. My quality of life has improved immeasurably in all areas from my career to my social life. I cannot praise Ruth's services enough - I would heartily recommend Ruth's coaching to anyone. Being coached by Ruth is one of the most rewarding relationships I have ever had."

Sue Jamieson, Liverpool, England.(UK)

"Ruth's coaching has helped me to gain the confidence to admit to myself and others that I had chosen the wrong career for me and has given me valuable tools to help me find my true vocation and get from an unrewarding life on to the path to an exciting future doing things that I love"

FLW, UK

"If you do not change direction, you'll end up where you are heading" - Lao Tzu."I feel this quote best sums up the position I was in before coaching. Together we prioritised career options, gave me courage to change negative situations into ones I can take control of and be in a positive position. I have gained a new purpose through my course and the hope of a career in this area. You helped me start this journey."

KP, Lancashire, UK.

A FREE online feature to print off and read. Written by Kathleenruth



Go As Guided Acknowledgement: I am eternally grateful to my coach, mentor and good friend Anya Sophia Mann whose wisdom and gifts, combined with her skill and Mastery of the coaching process, have helped me take my personal journey to previously unimaginable heights and depths. I first heard the phrase 'Go As Guided' used by Anya as an invitation for me to use my intuition.

Intuition, a 'gut-feeling', instinct, a 'hunch', inner guidance, whatever we call it, at one time or another, each of us has been aware that we are guided by something other than our minds and pure logic or reason. In situations where we lack factual information, a 'hunch' is often all we have to go on. Yet if we could be open to following our inner guidance more often we would make better choices for ourselves. Following this inner guide usually leads us to the most appropriate and natural solution for us. If we could follow our inner guidance 100% we could hardly put a foot wrong - or could we? It seems to be a simple idea to 100% follow our inner guidance yet how often does our inner guidance conflict with what we 'should' apparently do, or what is expected by wider society? In some instances where tension rides high, such as stressful work situations, our inner guidance might be urging us to take to our toes and 'hot-foot' it out of there! But will we? Reason tells us that would be self-sabotage. What would happen to our career? Yet if we truly, truly, look within it might really be the best solution for us. Why would we want to stay in any situation that is causing us discomfort? Our inner guidance might be 100% correct in telling us to remove ourselves from the situation in that moment. The phrase 'that moment' is key. If our inner guidance is telling us that whatever is happening right now feels wrong it is simply saying 'not in this moment', it doesn't' mean 'not ever'. Recognise your inner guidance So, how do we know when our inner guidance is telling us to stick with it or 'go for it'? That's somewhat easier - we feel excited, full of enthusiasm, often we have a feeling that nothing can go wrong, and strangely enough - it doesn't! Often we are in flow, whatever we are doing seems effortless and it brings us joy - we're having fun and feel like we could continue forever. But what about those situations where our inner guidance is telling us it's not right for us? We might feel an energy drain, or a sinking feeling, or just become bored, irritable, or feel that whatever it is has become tedious. It is important to cultivate our inner guidance so that it really works for us, and we learn to trust our inner sense. This IS the sense we were born with! Every one feels their inner sense differently yet we all have a way to discern the difference between when life is simply saying 'stop' or 'go'. Think of a time when you felt life was urging you forward, and another time when you felt life was saying pull back. Notice the difference? Did you listen to your feelings? What was the result? Social dilemmas Making the decision to follow our inner guidance in most matters can expedite our personal growth yet it can bring social difficulties or dilemmas. To be fully open to following our guidance means staying fully present in each moment and following our inner guidance on whether to stop or proceed with actions and events. Imagine we have made an arrangement to meet someone and as we check our appointment diary we get a discernible energy drain - nature seems to tell us: 'don't meet them'. This doesn't necessarily mean nature is telling us there is anything wrong with this person, life is simply telling us 'not right now' - not in this moment. Maybe something else needs to fall into place before you would both get the best from this meeting. But what do you do? Do you cancel or go ahead out of integrity? Stay fully present and follow your guidance in the moment Increasingly I stay fully present in each moment and allowing my inner guidance to direct the way forward. If I feel an energy drain or become bored, I know that life is telling me stop this activity for now, do something to bring me back into flow and maybe resume later. Our intuition will guide us whether to resume an activity later, when to respond to a call or e-mail and how to respond, if indeed at all. I find this a very effective way to get through over 120 e-mails a day. My intuition is now very highly tuned and most junk mail gets deleted without opening, let alone a response. Of the e-mails I do open I allow my intuition to guide me in how, and to what, to respond. If another person is not involved there is usually no problem following our intuition, but what about when the other person, society or etiquette expects a certain response from you? My friends and colleagues can find it disconcerting that I don't respond to every point in their mail. I 'scan' each mail energetically and respond to those issues where I feel excited. If I feel an energy drain I'll pass over it or even hit delete! An example of etiquette is that it is normally expected that people will respond to an e-mail within 24 hours or give an explanation why. Since my inner guidance can steer me away from a response for days I find I am often in breach of what is considered etiquette or good business practice. There are a number of elements to consider if we choose to give ourselves permission to fully follow our inner guidance. In the above example we need to first give ourselves permission for breaching codes of conduct and give ourselves the freedom we need to pursue our feelings. Concern what others will think or, put another way, fear of the judgement of others often lies beneath our motivation to explain and justify ourselves to others. We can learn to let go of the expectations of others and become more internally referenced, taking our guidance increasingly from within. This involves letting go of certain need we may have held for some time. We need to let go of our need to please others or have them approve of our behaviour. Develop your self-trust We can keep a record of instances where we have followed our intuition and acknowledge where it has paid off. This kind of validation is important in helping us to learn to trust the inner guidance we receive. In order to free ourselves to follow our inner guidance and become free spirits we may also need to heal our fear of judgement and this involves letting go of judgement of others and ourselves. When we let go of self-criticism we are more likely to pay attention to our inner dialogue. This is essential if we are to trust our inner-voice. Why would we trust someone whom only ever criticised us? In developing self-trust it is important to work on letting go of self-judgement. Set yourself free to be! We may also need to review where we feel in integrity in order to give ourselves permission to break with tradition and do things differently. If we value 'Doing the right thing' we may find we need to consider giving ourselves the freedom to be what we are, rather than what we feel others would like us to be. We need to give ourselves permission to be just how we are feeling. By examining our values we will see where some of them may cause us conflict. For example we may value freedom highly yet also value acting responsibly. We might need to re-examine what we mean by acting responsibly so that we don't tie ourselves to actions or behaviour that continually drains us and restricts our freedom. There are some actions we can take which will help smooth our transition to being free to go 'as guided'. We can stop judging others and ourselves. This might be easier said than done but we can become increasingly aware of our internal dialogue, which tells us that we and others 'should' or 'shouldn't' behave in a certain way, we can challenge our assumptions and we can change our thoughts. Communicate We can also communicate our intentions to others so that they appreciate and understand our 'strange' behaviour! Someone who is normally seen as reliable and dependable may suddenly appear changeable and flaky. We do not need to label this as a good or bad thing it just is what it is. It's part of the learning process. So it would help us if we can learn to let go of attaching value to qualities which restrict our freedom such as 'reliable' and 'dependable' and attach value to more freeing qualities such as 'willing to change' or 'willing to follow our heart's desire'. Be selfish We can learn to be more selfish. Increasingly I am coming to an awareness that we cannot be selfish enough, and in order to become selfless, to transcend selfishness, we need to go fully into it and out the other side! In fully 100% following our inner guidance we are being totally self-centred. Our attention is fully focused on our selves - on the centre of our being, and we make all our decisions from there. Don't take it personally It may also help to understand how not to 'take it personally' if someone doesn't respond to us as we expect. If I send you an e-mail and don't get a response for whatever reason, I know that the reason is about you and not about me. I am not attached to the need for a reply. And vice - versa. If you send me an e-mail and I don't respond, whether it IS because I am rude, cold, distant, following my intuition or just plain busy, whatever the reason it is fully about me and not about you. It helps us all to notice how we sometimes 'make it about us'. We often become attached to our idea that things 'should' be a certain way and if they are not then there is somehow a fault in us. I have witnessed this phenomenon in action when people apply for a job and don't get a reply. They sometimes take it personally and suffer in the process telling themselves 'they should have responded'. Well they just didn't and for whatever reason it simply is what it is. So detaching from our need to have things be a certain way, detaching from our need to judge things as right or wrong, detaching from our need to make it about us, and accepting things are just the way they are can help us not to take things personally and help us let go of suffering. This is a process of letting go. We let go of our ideas of how things should be and relax into a gentle acceptance of how things are. In giving ourselves permission to be who we really are we need to give others permission to do the same and understand that their behaviour is never about us. This does not mean tolerating behaviour from others that we find uncomfortable or may harm us. We can still have boundaries to protect our hearts, minds and souls from the actions of others but we do not have to attach any meaning to their behaviour other than it just is what it is. (for more on boundaries click here) We are increasingly evolving towards using our intuition 100% Setting ground rules for our relationships with others so that they know what to expect from us may help to smooth the transition. Also giving ourselves permission, being willing to let go of some of our old ideas and values, and allowing ourselves to trust our inner guidance will give us the freedom to go as guided. Finally, staying fully present in each moment is essential if we are to be able to hear our inner guidance. Can you even imagine where you would be if you allowed yourself to simply go as guided? ©Ruth Hadikin. September 2003. This article may be freely reproduced providing the following contact details are included: Ruth Hadikin is a Business and Life Coach specialising in personal, professional and organisational evolution. Her website is www.dreamcoach.co.uk E-mail: ruth@dreamcoach.co.uk REGISTER any time for a free introductory coaching call with KathleenRuth

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"It is not enough to be free, we have to know that we are free, and know how to live freely"