What is Emotional Intelligence?

A free feature to print off and read written by Kathleenruth

Emotional intelligence has been described as 'using emotions to learn information about ourselves' (BBC Radio 4 'Emotional Rollercoaster' series) There are many ideas about, and definitions of, emotional intelligence but from a coaching perspective this one is most pertinent. The coaching process encourages clients to develop awareness and understanding of themselves: what they love, what motivates them, what their strengths are and, as part of this process, it is natural to develop a greater awareness of our feelings: reading our emotions and what they mean to us. In other words the coaching process facilitates emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is nothing new although there has been a surge of interest recently in emotional intelligence and the role of emotions at work. This is because of the rise in what is known as 'emotional labour'. Emotional labour is where emotions are actually used as part of our work, and staff are required to often demonstrate or express emotional states which may differ from how they are actually feeling. Examples of roles where emotional labour is used are healthcare (medicine, nursing, midwifery), customer services, call centres, retail, indeed many service industries and many roles which are too numerous to mention here.

So you can see, given the huge increase in service industries, why emotional intelligence is suddenly demanding our attention. We seem to have swung from one extreme to the other: from the British stiff-upper lip attitude of 'it isn't the done thing to show one's emotions' to 'we not only want you to show emotions we want you to show the ones we tell you to.' It is a sign of the times that in many jobs these days you will be expected to be a Master of emotional intelligence.

Background

As long as we have had Human Beings (or Homo Sapiens) we have had emotions! And probably long before: there is emerging evidence that animals also have emotions, and researchers are even discussing whether robots, or computers, can be programmed with emotional responses.

The term emotional intelligence first arose around the beginning of the 20th century. In the 1920’s Edward Thorndike expressed early concern at the over-emphasis on 'academic' intelligence, at the time when 'IQ' tests were being developed. IQ tests are a measure of cognitive intelligence, your 'Intelligence Quotient'. He was concerned that what he saw as emotional and social intelligences were equally, if not more, important and that they could be identified, and measured, as a completely separate entity from academic intelligence. Most of us can think of the stereotypical 'nerd' or boffin who is academically brilliant and socially inept.

Probably the most well-known contemporary author on emotional intelligence is Daniel Goleman. In 1996 his book "Emotional Intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ" was published, just at a time when the business and corporate world was hungry for more information about emotions. It became a number one bestseller. As is typical with Golemans work, this book is a very thorough and in-depth review of the latest cutting-edge (at the time) research into human emotions and how they affect our behaviour. He quickly followed through with a book which places emotions in the context of work:"Working With Emotional Intelligence" In this book he gives one of the most popular definitions of emotional intelligence that is in use today:

“the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships”.

It is referred to variously as emotional intelligence, social intelligence, emotional-social intelligence (ESI) and simply EQ.

What does EQ mean?
EQ means ‘emotional quotient’ and was a term devised by Dr. Reuven Bar-On in an attempt to quantify, or measure, emotional-social intelligence (ESI). He wondered if you could have an 'EQ' test to rate your emotional intelligence in a similar way to how an 'IQ' test rates your academic intelligence. (online at: http://www.6seconds.org/pdf/Bar-On_ESI.pdf )

EQ tests are not absolute and are as controversial as IQ tests. Just as your IQ can change throughout your life, and is not fixed at birth, so can your EQ. EQ tests vary in what they measure (since there are different ideas about what emotional intelligence actually is).

How we recognise emotional intelligence
While scientists argue over the best way to measure it, the rest of us know ‘it’ when we see it. When we watch star peformers in a team they usually have ‘it’ whilst others (apparently) don’t.

We might notice: positive thinking; optimism; above-average networking, communication skills and performance; confidence; an ability to put others at ease and to ‘take things in their stride’; emotional 'maturity', an ability to be at ease with others' emotions; motivation; energy; focus; calmness and/or presence. From this perspective we see practical implications in terms of performance:

"For 515 senior executives analyzed by the search firm Egon Zehnder International, those who were primarily strong in emotional intelligence were more likely to succeed than those who were strongest in either relevant previous experience or IQ. In other words, emotional intelligence was a better predictor of success than either relevant previous experience or high IQ. More specifically, the executive was high in emotional intelligence in 74 percent of the successes and only in 24 percent of the failures. The study included executives in Latin America, Germany, and Japan, and the results were almost identical in all three cultures."

- Source: http://www.eiconsortium.org/research/business_case_for_ei.htm

Here is the good news: emotional intelligence can be developed. It is a myth that you either have ‘it’ or you don’t. The star performer was not born that way. He or she is using a complex emotional-social skill set that has been learned at some stage. Whether we learn emotional skills depends on our environment. While some people learn them at home even before attending school and or at school, some of us reach adulthood never having had the opportunity to develop emotional skills to any recognisable degree. We are all at different stages in our emotional-social development.

The good news is that regardless of our baseline level of emotional intelligence we can develop it further. Although our inborn nature does play a part, some infants have been observed to be more outgoing and actively seek social interactions from birth, we can still learn from others how to develop and build upon our existing skills.

Although views differ, some of the key elements of emotional intelligence are described as:

• self-awareness and self-management;
• effective communication skills;
• empathy;
• an ability to sense what others are feeling and respond appropriately;
• and an ability to be in and work from ‘flow state’.

Some commentators, including Goleman, also consider intuition as an important aspect of emotional intelligence.

Coaching and emotional intelligence

The coaching process by it's very nature encourages self-enquiry. The focus is on who are you being in any given situation. Whereas a mentor might focus on how you are doing a task, a coach will focus on who you are being, in doing the task. This will include how you are feeling. An awareness of how you are feeling in any moment, and the ability to 'read' the feeling, interpret it as having some information or a message for you, is a key aspect of emotional intelligence.

In coaching any 'limiting beliefs' need to be identified and changed if possible. An obvious example would be a tennis player entering a match with the belief that he can't win. Hs coach would want him to believe that he absolutely CAN win. We can all see that this would affect his performance, but do we know how?

Our tennis player might not consciously be thinking 'I can't win'. He might not be consciously thinking anything. But his feelings would tell us. He might notice a 'sinking feeling' in the pit of his stomach. Or nervousness, or fear. The jury is still out on whether we experience thoughts or feelings first, maybe both - at different times, but for our purposes it doesn't really matter. It is sufficient to know that thoughts and emotions are closely related. Once the feeling or sense of fear is recognised by our player, with practice, he can then discern the message. He might be aware that he is holding a limiting belief, barely a thought, which might be 'I'm not good enough'.

By working with his coach to change this belief, and using the physical sensation as energy - perhaps re-naming it 'excitement' instead of fear, our player can develop a winning attitude. If he does nothing and continues believing and feeling that he isn't good enough, he might as well pack up and go home. He's lost before he walks on court.

Emotional intelligence and flow state

In general use emotional states are thought of as mostly negative. If someone cries they are often described as 'emotional', yet if someone is in a rage they usually aren't! We think of so-called 'negative' emotions first: fear, anger, sadness and then we may tag on the so-called positive emotions as an after-thought: joy, happiness, peace or a sense of well-being. For our purposes no emotions are strictly 'positive' or 'negative' since they all contain information that is good for us to know about ourselves. Even though there may be some emotions we would prefer not to experience and others which we would prefer to experience.

One such 'preferred' emotional state is flow state. Whilst not strictly an emotion as such, we can use emotions to measure if we are in flow state, or not, and use emotions to return to flow state. We certainly experience 'positive' emotions once we are there. Why would we want to do this? Firstly perhaps because it simply feels great. But there is alot more to flow state than just feeling good.

Flow state is a highly creative, high performance state in which we reach (and often surpass) our own peak performance, while at the same time experiencing positive emotions and a sense of effortlessness. This has been described by athletes as 'the zone'. Interestingly, we also feel more like our 'true' selves. That what we are doing is just 'being who we are'. Even though some learning might be involved, like learning techniques in tennis, or playing an instrument, once we are in the state it somehow feels natural and effortless. Quite complex tasks, such as playing a violin, can feel easy.

As coaches we encourage people to remember what they 'love' to do. We invoke emotional words like 'love', 'joy' and 'passion'. If our clients can remember what they love, and why they love it, indeed what they are passionate about, they can recall the positive emotions involved and possibly recall occassions when they have experienced flow state. If we can co-create an emotional pathway back to that state, that the client can use as a tool on a daily basis, they can not only improve their performance, which is good, but they will experience a highly creative state, a flood of positive emotions and an increased sense of well-being and job satisfaction. There is also a close connection to whatever fires our passion and where our strengths and talents lie.

In the groundbreaking book (and profiling test) "NOW Discover Your Strengths" Buckingham and Clifton point out that strengths-based organisations not only improve employee satisfaction, reducing stress and employee turnover, but can increase performance by up to 80% This is because once you practice any activity that relates to your strengths you quickly experience flow state. It's a bit like the old adage: what came first the chicken or the egg?

It doesn't really matter whether you get into flow state because you are using your strengths or whether you develop your strengths because you are in flow state. What matters is that it feels good, feels effortless, and you are surpassing and evolving beyond your peak performance. DO try this at home! Click on the link above, take Buckingham and Cliftons 'strengthsfinder' profile, then try any activity related to your top five strengths. Pretty soon, you will experience flow state. (The Strengthsfinder profile is an internet based profile, supported by Gallup International in which over 2 million people have participated to date)

After ignoring them for so long we are finally beginning to recognise that our emotions are pretty important. Not only can they be a guidance system for us, they can lead us to our strengths, lead us to our passion, improve our performance and, well, they just feel good!

Emotional intelligence skills enable us to read our emotions and make adjustments where necessary. They also enable us to 'detach' from our emotions when necessary. Our tennis player can dis-identify from his fear: he is aware that it is not who he is. Once he realises he is not his fear he can allow himself to experience the feeling, and still retain a positive self-image as a star player. We can also use our emotions to recognise, and return to, a flow state.

As we become self-aware we develop the ability to observe our mind (our thoughts and emotions) and dis-identify rather than be identified with it. We realise we are much more than our thoughts and emotions. We are no longer swept away by emotions. We empathise with others who are struggling with emotional-mental attachments. We no longer take others’ emotions personally, or feel a need to react to them. This deeper understanding leads us to new ways of being, new ways of interacting with others and new levels of compassion. This is the next phase of human evolution. It is emotional intelligence.

©2006 Ruth Hadikin Associates. Ruth Hadikin BSc (HONS), Cert.Ed. is a Personal and Professional Development Consultant and Coach specialising in Emotional Intelligence through Self-awareness. Her background is 18 years in the NHS as a Nurse, Community Midwife and Midwife Teacher. She is author of Effective Coaching in Healthcare and with Co-Author with Muriel O'Driscoll of The Bullying Culture, and Interpersonal Skills. As a freelance writer, consultant, trainer and personal coach she works with individuals, groups and organisations, to facilitate a deeper understanding of the intelligence inherent in human emotions and promote the practical benefits of using emotional intelligence to transform our everyday experience.

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