The Journey of Evolving Consciousness

Testimonials:

Why people love coaching...

"Coaching for me has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one"

"[coaching] works like magic!"

"You've been very supportive, intuitive, efficient and fun as a coach, and above all non-judgemental"

"I cannot speak too highly of Ruth’s continual support, empathic manner and superb coaching abilities."

"I have never felt better. Deciding to work with Ruth is one of the most wonderful and life-enhancing decisions I have ever made; I only wish I’d done this earlier."

"Ruth is a practical, warm, intuitive, knowledgeable coach... Through being coached by Ruth, I discovered validation of myself and acknowledged that whatever stage I'm at, it's okay. It's not enough to say that Ruth Hadikin is a brilliant coach. It is true, but that doesn't begin to express her deep and thorough understanding of what motivates people and her instinctive knowing of what stage they're at and where they need to go next. Such a skill is not merely valuable, but priceless."

Julie Plenty, Personal and Business Coach, (UK)

"I was not happy at work and this had been a thorn in my side for several years. The exercises we worked through together, particularly the one about personal boundaries have helped enormously. I feel a lot more self-assured and happier within myself. I've learned to trust my feelings and they have served me well. I have decided to work for myself. There is so much to do and a lot of uncertainty but I know that I can make it work. That kind of feeling and inner strength is something I did not have before I started a coaching programme with you. Thanks for your help and support"

Theresa Mc Gouran, Founder and Director, TM Investigations.(UK)

"Working with Ruth as my Life Coach has helped me clarify what's important in my life and as a result I can now see clearly where I want my business to go and what steps I need to get there."

Nicola Hall, Company Director, NbLife Ltd(UK)

It was not just luck that I came across Ruth as my life coach. As an experienced midwife, I found that I was unable to control the stress that was building up in my life. Working with Ruth as coach, my stress level was down by 80% in just over two months! Everything is back in perspective, and I am beginning to enjoy my life again. I consider myself fortunate to have Ruth as my life coach partner, as I progress through this journey of finding the real me."

Jacqui, Midwife, Merseyside (UK).

"There I was a middle-aged woman who had been in the same dull job for years, deciding at the ripe old age of fifty to go back to college and study something completely different. Eighteen months into my three-year diploma course I was teetering on the edge of :'I can't do this, I'm not clever enough'. At that point Ruth became my coach, and changed my attitude towards myself. YES! I am clever enough - I will get through this. Ruth is the best thing. How lovely it felt, just having someone who is completely there for you, week after week for that lovely chat. Plus the beautiful poems and E-mails sent between calls to keep you going. Coaching for me has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one."

Y.C. Mature Student, Liverpool (UK)

Choosing Ruth as my coach has been the best decision I could have ever made. I have experienced a tremendous amount of growth in the last 6 months under her wisdom, patience, support, understanding, guidance, love and encouragement. Thru our work together I have a deeper understanding and love for myself. I am now able to take my own coaching clients further in their personal journey. When one so precious gives of their wisdom and love it cannot help but spread, lives touching lives, through out all the world. Thank You Ruth, you are truly amazing."

Sandy Tremp, Life Coach, Phoenix, AZ (USA)

"I am very happy I picked you to be my coach. I am particularly pleased because you use your intuition in the coaching process which makes it much 'smoother', and it helps me feel like we are on the same wavelength. It also helps us get to the important issues that much quicker! When we spoke over the phone the first time, I felt that you use your intuition more than any other coach I had spoken with. You've also helped me look at my life with someone else's eyes - now I ask myself questions that you might ask during the call. It is more fun doing it together though! You've been very supportive, intuitive, efficient and fun as a coach, and above all non-judgemental."

M.S. Engineer and Teacher. (UK & Europe).

Many thanks for your invaluable support. I wouldn't have got this far without you"

C.L. Journalist, Lancashire (UK)

"I feel both the articles and the coaching itself are extremely helpful, being removed from one's normal environment makes it feel somewhat safer to admit that things could be better, if only we knew how to change - well now we can find out."

S.W.Anaesthetist.(UK)

"[coaching] worked/works like magic! I got through the last 2 weeks... with a much better spirit - using visualisation and affirmation. ..have already presented a seminar.. with help of noticing first signs of tension/panic, breathing and affirmations and it was good. Thank You!!"

M.S. Student Midwife, Scotland(UK)

"During the past six months, I have been fortunate enough to benefit from the services which Ruth provides to assist me through a period of personal and professional crisis. I initially used Ruth's telephone coaching service and more recently the e-coaching service. Without the foundation of professional integrity, warmth and mutual respect which Ruth quickly established, it would not be possible to feel in a "safe enough environment" in which to endeavour to further my personal and professional development. I have often found the advice or suggestions which Ruth offers to be hard to fully grasp or even believe on first hearing. However, so far I have invariably found her ideas to be worth either persevering with or revisiting at a later date. Moreover I have found my confidence in Ruth's coaching (and my subsequent courage to face current and future challenges) further strengthened by reference to other resources such as books and professionals from other disciplines. Using a personal coach is a good example in itself of trying something new which originally felt like moving into uncertain (and frightening) territory. My personal views have changed significantly concerning working with Ruth to such an extent that I would now unreservedly recommend Ruth's services to people from all age groups and walks of life. I have found regular reviews of my progress with Ruth to be invaluable measures and reminders of how much I have achieved and progressed during the past few months. This also serves as inspiration for continuing to work hard with, and get the best from Ruth and her diverse talents and experience. Ruth has made a significant contribution on my journey towards self-discovery and self-worth. I realise that regardless of how long I work with Ruth, there will be many of the changes I am in the process of incorporating into my life including key phrases, topics and advice which will be useful in the future. In particular this would relate to the degree to which one should value and care for oneself."

Clare Robson, IT consultant, North Wales.(UK)

"When I first contacted Ruth I didn't know which direction to take in my life. I had lost my job through chronic fatigue and felt bewildered and unsure about the future. Assisted by Ruth's amazing gift of directing me to look inside myself for answers and not externally. I am now on a wonderful journey of self discovery and growth. Ruth has a unique ability to assist you in the realisation that everyday experiences and feelings, no matter how painful, are opportunities for spiritual growth, and should be honoured. I am no longer worrying about my future, as I know that through the wonderful work I am doing with Ruth, it will become clear, when I am ready."

Myra Wylupek, Edinburgh, Scotland.(UK)

"When I asked Ruth to be my coach, I was facing a huge crisis at work and was on the verge of handing in my notice as a teacher. My self-confidence was very low and I hardly dared believe that I could take control of my life and start to enjoy life again. After speaking to Ruth for an initial chat, I felt exhilarated and confident that I had found a great genuine coach who would help me to become the best I could be. I have had Ruth as a coach for four months and I can only marvel at the changes in my life. I have been able to turn the situation around at work and am now looking forward to moving on in my career. Ruth's coaching sessions have afforded me the chance to regain my self esteem and sense of purpose; her intuition and insights are so helpful and relevant - everything begins to fall into place after a few sessions; I have never felt better. Deciding to work with Ruth is one of the most wonderful and life-enhancing decisions I have ever made; I only wish I'd done this earlier. I cannot speak too highly of Ruth's continual support, empathic manner and superb coaching abilities. Ruth is the dream coach who has given me the confidence to stop worrying and start living again. My quality of life has improved immeasurably in all areas from my career to my social life. I cannot praise Ruth's services enough - I would heartily recommend Ruth's coaching to anyone. Being coached by Ruth is one of the most rewarding relationships I have ever had."

Sue Jamieson, Liverpool, England.(UK)

"Ruth's coaching has helped me to gain the confidence to admit to myself and others that I had chosen the wrong career for me and has given me valuable tools to help me find my true vocation and get from an unrewarding life on to the path to an exciting future doing things that I love"

FLW, UK

"If you do not change direction, you'll end up where you are heading" - Lao Tzu."I feel this quote best sums up the position I was in before coaching. Together we prioritised career options, gave me courage to change negative situations into ones I can take control of and be in a positive position. I have gained a new purpose through my course and the hope of a career in this area. You helped me start this journey."

KP, Lancashire, UK.

A FREE online feature to print off and read. Written by Kathleenruth



The Journey of Evolving Consciousness

We are continually evolving, changing, which means in each new moment we are different, albeit slightly, than a moment ago. Perhaps most of us wouldn't like to think of this because the first thing that comes to mind is that we are getting older. But with age comes wisdom, if we remain open to learning. As soon as I write this it is out of date. My thoughts change, my feelings change, I change. I evolve. I was reminded of this recently when someone visited my website and asked me about articles I had written some time ago. I became acutely aware how my position had shifted, of how my viewpoint has changed. It wasn't 'me' who wrote the article, it was an old 'self'. This did not make the article 'wrong' in any sense, it is still 'correct' and was perfect in that moment - and that is the point. Anything we create is a reflection of who we are in each moment, and only in that moment. That was then and this is now. That moment has gone and this is a new moment. And in this moment I am a new version of me, as are you. We all evolve and any memory, thought, picture, concept of 'who we are' is only a snapshot in time. To really, really know who we are we need to look at the bigger picture: our journey through life. Where we have come from and where we are going. Acknowledging where we have come from to arrive at this point is an important part, but nevertheless only part, of our journey. Not the whole. Acknowledging who we are, being witness to our own journey, is how we learn to accept, forgive and learn to love all of who we are. Until we can embrace and love all of who we are we cannot fully accept and unconditionally love others. Our personal journey is a lifelong one that takes us through many milestones, or markers, along the way. I have identified (at least) 4 steps which bring us towards self-acceptance and wholeness. These are: Know your Self. Love your Self. Be your Self and Share your Self. Notice that I put Know your Self first. From my own personal experience, we have to have a sense of Self to love, so I identified this as a first step. To this end I encourage my clients to be an objective observer of Self. Objective, and without judgement, because if we are harshly critical of our Self we won't continue the process. We won't continue observing. How can we? How can we observe ourselves if all we do is criticise and hate what we see? Many clients come to me saying they don't know who they are anymore. If so, then reclaiming your sense of self may be the first step for you, as it was for me. Recently I came across another school of thought which throws more light on this issue. Spiritual teacher Osho (www.osho.com) suggested that self-love must be first. Loving oneself must come first, before all else. Then, from a place of acceptance and love, we can observe easily without self criticism. Yet how do we arrive at the position of self-love? This in itself involves a journey for most of us. Most of us are not even aware that we don't love ourselves. I agree with Osho that self-love is a natural and important starting point, but what if you don't have it? Indeed what if you are conscious of the fact that you not only dislike yourself but may even hate yourself? You need to first take steps to arrive at the place of self-love. This is where I say return to observing objectively. By noticing, by being the observer and being willing to let go of self-criticism you can arrive at the place where you can look at all of who you are, even the bits you don't like, and say: "I am that" You can begin to accept all of who you are, warts and all. Most of us are too afraid to look, and with good reason. We believe we are so terrible we won't be able to bear what we see. We won't be able to BE with ourSelves. Know yourself. Most of your judgement and self-criticism does not come from within you but comes from outside in the form of social conditioning. It is society: our peers, media, family, and everyone collectively, that feeds us our belief system. It is not 'ours' we are born into it. We carry around in our heads a battery of 'should' and 'shouldn't's and most of the time we do not even question how they got there. You 'should' be a better daughter or son. You 'should' visit your Mother more often. You 'should' be nice to your Sister even though she drives you crazy. This is not the real you. Learning to observe the dialogue, the voice of your inner critic, can be an important tool for change. When you can hear the inner critic, you realise that it is not you. Who is observing? The observer is you. You realise that the critic is not you. It is only a thought. And a thought can be changed. You can just as easily think of yourself as a 'good' person as a 'bad' one. It is only a thought. Learning how to be conscious of these thoughts, to develop awareness of the inner dialogue and the deeper sense of a self who can observe this dialogue, is part of what I call step 1: Learning to KNOW your true self. The Self that exists underneath the 'whitewash' of thoughts and ideas that society has put there. It is from this place that you realise THIS Self is loveable. Underneath all the layers of mud and dirt you are "a precious diamond waiting to be discovered" - Zoran Todorovich. Love yourself. I have heard the journey to wholeness and higher consciousness described as a love affair with yourself. This is an apt description. It is necessary to learn to love this self you have discovered within you. You realise that you are perfect just as you are. You are exactly as you were intended to be. Life called you into existence for a reason, and YOU are it. Love who you are. Really. You cannot be any more perfect because perfection cannot be improved upon. So just love. Know that the love you seek comes from within and it is down to you to learn how to give it to yourself. Once you tap into this unlimited source of love, you will never need love from others again. And you will get it. You will be centred. You will be the centre of Your Own Universe. Y.O.U. In order to arrive at this centred state you need to give yourself permission to be Selfish. You can't be selfish enough. It is only by being supremely selfish, centred on yourself , honouring yourself, and ensuring all your needs are fully met, that youa rive at the state of total self-love. And once there you realise that it is simply love. It is not confined just to you. It is a state of love that you have arrived at. You realise that you exist in Love. Once you realise you are a diamond, learn to love diamonds. It is futile to continue wishing you were an emerald. Love this self that you are. Be yourself Be 100% authentic. Once you know who you are and love who you are, why would you be anything else? This is where life become effortless. You let go of struggle because there is nothing to struggle about. You are simply BEING. You let go of everything that no longer serves you and embrace the whole of your being. Give yourself permission to simply BE and you realise that there is nothing to 'do' because you are already doing it. Naturally. The 'doing' comes from being. Your work, your life, everything becomes a natural expression of YOU. Express yourself. Be the biggest, brightest diamond you can be, and shine. Share yourself Once you are full of Love, it cannot help but spill over into those around you. You become loving. There is nothing to do. You don't have to try. You just become it. Others are attracted to you naturally, and you find that you attract people who resonate with you. Like attracts like. Whether in business or your personal life you may find there have been people hanging around whom you no longer resonate with. They will simply leave your space. Here's how it works: You are a precious gem. But while you were caked in dirt no-one could tell what you are. Neither fish nor fowl. So the people who love rubies, and emeralds and diamonds were hanging around the sidelines waiting to see what you turn out to be. Now you know you are diamond. You are clean, polished and shining brightly. You shine like a beacon to those who love diamonds - they wonder how come they never noticed such a bright wonderful diamond earlier. You need do nothing. They are attracted to you like moths to a flame. All you need do is place yourself where you can be seen. They will do the rest. And the people who wanted rubies and emeralds? They just quietly leave your space and continue their search. And so our journey continues… Our personal journey is always more like a spiral than a straight line. Many times I have felt like I am at the starting point again. This can't be possible, because we do not (yet!) have any method of time travel - so when we feel as though we are back at square one take a look around. You will find you are in a slightly different place: viewing your 'stuff' from a different perspective, and always moving forward on your journey. So when you feel like you are in the same place pay careful attention to what is different, because something will be. And this will be your marker of how far you have come on your journey. When we talk about these 'steps' it is probably misleading to say we 'complete' step one and move on never to return. Maybe it is more like a dance where we are continually moving through steps: 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4 and maybe even: 1, 3, 2, 4…or whatever. Maybe the rhythm changes, as the pace certainly changes. Maybe we keep doing this circular dance as we create our future selves: then get to KNOW each new self, LOVE our new self, BE our new self, SHARE our new self with others, then create a new one. So we become like snakes shedding our skins as we constantly create new selves and shed old ones! Ever had one of those dreams where you wake up, only to wake up again a moment later because the first time you were still dreaming? The journey to higher consciousness feels like this at times. You reach a level where you are 'awake' You know this because you can look back at times in your life when you were definitely sleep-walking. Then you wake up, again. You have moved to a new level and are back at Step 1 again. Now you have a new Self to get to know. Or so it seems. Maybe you are seeing your Self from a different perspective now that some more of your old 'filters' have gone. You are seeing yourself ever more clearly. Whatever metaphor you choose to illustrate your journey, the one thing that remains constant is change. We are always different, new in each moment, and exactly where we are supposed to be. Life becomes effortless when we are moving gently through life, being aware in each moment, embracing change, being aware of the gifts in each moment, being aware of the lessons and accepting that we are just where we need to be in this moment. ©Ruth Hadikin. August 2003. This article may be freely reproduced providing the following contact details are included: Ruth Hadikin is a Business and Life Coach specialising in personal, professional and organisational evolution. Her website is www.dreamcoach.co.uk E-mail: ruth@dreamcoach.co.uk REGISTER any time for a free introductory coaching call with KathleenRuth

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"It is not enough to be free, we have to know that we are free, and know how to live freely"