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Ruth Hadikin & Associates
Transforming People and Workplaces
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"Coaching has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one"
Y.C, Liverpool, UK
Quick Help Links:
Testimonials:
"Coaching for me has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one"
"[coaching] works like magic!"
"You've been very supportive, intuitive, efficient and fun as a coach, and above all non-judgemental"
"I cannot speak too highly of Ruth’s continual support, empathic manner and superb coaching abilities."
"I have never felt better. Deciding to work with Ruth is one of the most wonderful and life-enhancing decisions I have ever made; I only wish I’d done this earlier."
"Ruth is a practical, warm, intuitive, knowledgeable coach... Through being coached by Ruth, I discovered validation of myself and acknowledged that whatever stage I'm at, it's okay. It's not enough to say that Ruth Hadikin is a brilliant coach. It is true, but that doesn't begin to express her deep and thorough understanding of what motivates people and her instinctive knowing of what stage they're at and where they need to go next. Such a skill is not merely valuable, but priceless."
Julie Plenty, Personal and Business Coach, (UK)
"I was not happy at work and this had been a thorn in my side for several years. The exercises we worked through together, particularly the one about personal boundaries have helped enormously. I feel a lot more self-assured and happier within myself. I've learned to trust my feelings and they have served me well. I have decided to work for myself. There is so much to do and a lot of uncertainty but I know that I can make it work. That kind of feeling and inner strength is something I did not have before I started a coaching programme with you. Thanks for your help and support"
Theresa Mc Gouran, Founder and Director, TM Investigations.(UK)
"Working with Ruth as my Life Coach has helped me clarify what's important in my life and as a result I can now see clearly where I want my business to go and what steps I need to get there."
Nicola Hall, Company Director, NbLife Ltd(UK)
It was not just luck that I came across Ruth as my life coach. As an experienced midwife, I found that I was unable to control the stress that was building up in my life. Working with Ruth as coach, my stress level was down by 80% in just over two months! Everything is back in perspective, and I am beginning to enjoy my life again. I consider myself fortunate to have Ruth as my life coach partner, as I progress through this journey of finding the real me."
Jacqui, Midwife, Merseyside (UK).
"There I was a middle-aged woman who had been in the same dull job for years, deciding at the ripe old age of fifty to go back to college and study something completely different. Eighteen months into my three-year diploma course I was teetering on the edge of :'I can't do this, I'm not clever enough'. At that point Ruth became my coach, and changed my attitude towards myself. YES! I am clever enough - I will get through this. Ruth is the best thing. How lovely it felt, just having someone who is completely there for you, week after week for that lovely chat. Plus the beautiful poems and E-mails sent between calls to keep you going. Coaching for me has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one."
Y.C. Mature Student, Liverpool (UK)
Choosing Ruth as my coach has been the best decision I could have ever made. I have experienced a tremendous amount of growth in the last 6 months under her wisdom, patience, support, understanding, guidance, love and encouragement. Thru our work together I have a deeper understanding and love for myself. I am now able to take my own coaching clients further in their personal journey. When one so precious gives of their wisdom and love it cannot help but spread, lives touching lives, through out all the world. Thank You Ruth, you are truly amazing."
Sandy Tremp, Life Coach, Phoenix, AZ (USA)
"I am very happy I picked you to be my coach. I am particularly pleased because you use your intuition in the coaching process which makes it much 'smoother', and it helps me feel like we are on the same wavelength. It also helps us get to the important issues that much quicker! When we spoke over the phone the first time, I felt that you use your intuition more than any other coach I had spoken with. You've also helped me look at my life with someone else's eyes - now I ask myself questions that you might ask during the call. It is more fun doing it together though! You've been very supportive, intuitive, efficient and fun as a coach, and above all non-judgemental."
M.S. Engineer and Teacher. (UK & Europe).
Many thanks for your invaluable support. I wouldn't have got this far without you"
C.L. Journalist, Lancashire (UK)
"I feel both the articles and the coaching itself are extremely helpful, being removed from one's normal environment makes it feel somewhat safer to admit that things could be better, if only we knew how to change - well now we can find out."
S.W.Anaesthetist.(UK)
"[coaching] worked/works like magic! I got through the last 2 weeks... with a much better spirit - using visualisation and affirmation. ..have already presented a seminar.. with help of noticing first signs of tension/panic, breathing and affirmations and it was good. Thank You!!"
M.S. Student Midwife, Scotland(UK)
"During the past six months, I have been fortunate enough to benefit from the services which Ruth provides to assist me through a period of personal and professional crisis. I initially used Ruth's telephone coaching service and more recently the e-coaching service. Without the foundation of professional integrity, warmth and mutual respect which Ruth quickly established, it would not be possible to feel in a "safe enough environment" in which to endeavour to further my personal and professional development. I have often found the advice or suggestions which Ruth offers to be hard to fully grasp or even believe on first hearing. However, so far I have invariably found her ideas to be worth either persevering with or revisiting at a later date. Moreover I have found my confidence in Ruth's coaching (and my subsequent courage to face current and future challenges) further strengthened by reference to other resources such as books and professionals from other disciplines. Using a personal coach is a good example in itself of trying something new which originally felt like moving into uncertain (and frightening) territory. My personal views have changed significantly concerning working with Ruth to such an extent that I would now unreservedly recommend Ruth's services to people from all age groups and walks of life. I have found regular reviews of my progress with Ruth to be invaluable measures and reminders of how much I have achieved and progressed during the past few months. This also serves as inspiration for continuing to work hard with, and get the best from Ruth and her diverse talents and experience. Ruth has made a significant contribution on my journey towards self-discovery and self-worth. I realise that regardless of how long I work with Ruth, there will be many of the changes I am in the process of incorporating into my life including key phrases, topics and advice which will be useful in the future. In particular this would relate to the degree to which one should value and care for oneself."
Clare Robson, IT consultant, North Wales.(UK)
"When I first contacted Ruth I didn't know which direction to take in my life. I had lost my job through chronic fatigue and felt bewildered and unsure about the future. Assisted by Ruth's amazing gift of directing me to look inside myself for answers and not externally. I am now on a wonderful journey of self discovery and growth. Ruth has a unique ability to assist you in the realisation that everyday experiences and feelings, no matter how painful, are opportunities for spiritual growth, and should be honoured. I am no longer worrying about my future, as I know that through the wonderful work I am doing with Ruth, it will become clear, when I am ready."
Myra Wylupek, Edinburgh, Scotland.(UK)
"When I asked Ruth to be my coach, I was facing a huge crisis at work and was on the verge of handing in my notice as a teacher. My self-confidence was very low and I hardly dared believe that I could take control of my life and start to enjoy life again. After speaking to Ruth for an initial chat, I felt exhilarated and confident that I had found a great genuine coach who would help me to become the best I could be. I have had Ruth as a coach for four months and I can only marvel at the changes in my life. I have been able to turn the situation around at work and am now looking forward to moving on in my career. Ruth's coaching sessions have afforded me the chance to regain my self esteem and sense of purpose; her intuition and insights are so helpful and relevant - everything begins to fall into place after a few sessions; I have never felt better. Deciding to work with Ruth is one of the most wonderful and life-enhancing decisions I have ever made; I only wish I'd done this earlier. I cannot speak too highly of Ruth's continual support, empathic manner and superb coaching abilities. Ruth is the dream coach who has given me the confidence to stop worrying and start living again. My quality of life has improved immeasurably in all areas from my career to my social life. I cannot praise Ruth's services enough - I would heartily recommend Ruth's coaching to anyone. Being coached by Ruth is one of the most rewarding relationships I have ever had."
Sue Jamieson, Liverpool, England.(UK)
"Ruth's coaching has helped me to gain the confidence to admit to myself and others that I had chosen the wrong career for me and has given me valuable tools to help me find my true vocation and get from an unrewarding life on to the path to an exciting future doing things that I love"
FLW, UK
"If you do not change direction, you'll end up where you are heading" - Lao Tzu."I feel this quote best sums up the position I was in before coaching. Together we prioritised career options, gave me courage to change negative situations into ones I can take control of and be in a positive position. I have gained a new purpose through my course and the hope of a career in this area. You helped me start this journey."
KP, Lancashire, UK.
Quick Help Links:
Testimonials:
Why people love coaching...
"Coaching for me has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one"
"[coaching] works like magic!"
"You've been very supportive, intuitive, efficient and fun as a coach, and above all non-judgemental"
"I cannot speak too highly of Ruth’s continual support, empathic manner and superb coaching abilities."
"I have never felt better. Deciding to work with Ruth is one of the most wonderful and life-enhancing decisions I have ever made; I only wish I’d done this earlier."
"Ruth is a practical, warm, intuitive, knowledgeable coach... Through being coached by Ruth, I discovered validation of myself and acknowledged that whatever stage I'm at, it's okay. It's not enough to say that Ruth Hadikin is a brilliant coach. It is true, but that doesn't begin to express her deep and thorough understanding of what motivates people and her instinctive knowing of what stage they're at and where they need to go next. Such a skill is not merely valuable, but priceless."
Julie Plenty, Personal and Business Coach, (UK)
"I was not happy at work and this had been a thorn in my side for several years. The exercises we worked through together, particularly the one about personal boundaries have helped enormously. I feel a lot more self-assured and happier within myself. I've learned to trust my feelings and they have served me well. I have decided to work for myself. There is so much to do and a lot of uncertainty but I know that I can make it work. That kind of feeling and inner strength is something I did not have before I started a coaching programme with you. Thanks for your help and support"
Theresa Mc Gouran, Founder and Director, TM Investigations.(UK)
"Working with Ruth as my Life Coach has helped me clarify what's important in my life and as a result I can now see clearly where I want my business to go and what steps I need to get there."
Nicola Hall, Company Director, NbLife Ltd(UK)
It was not just luck that I came across Ruth as my life coach. As an experienced midwife, I found that I was unable to control the stress that was building up in my life. Working with Ruth as coach, my stress level was down by 80% in just over two months! Everything is back in perspective, and I am beginning to enjoy my life again. I consider myself fortunate to have Ruth as my life coach partner, as I progress through this journey of finding the real me."
Jacqui, Midwife, Merseyside (UK).
"There I was a middle-aged woman who had been in the same dull job for years, deciding at the ripe old age of fifty to go back to college and study something completely different. Eighteen months into my three-year diploma course I was teetering on the edge of :'I can't do this, I'm not clever enough'. At that point Ruth became my coach, and changed my attitude towards myself. YES! I am clever enough - I will get through this. Ruth is the best thing. How lovely it felt, just having someone who is completely there for you, week after week for that lovely chat. Plus the beautiful poems and E-mails sent between calls to keep you going. Coaching for me has been a wonderful experience. It has made me see ME in a different light, a much brighter one."
Y.C. Mature Student, Liverpool (UK)
Choosing Ruth as my coach has been the best decision I could have ever made. I have experienced a tremendous amount of growth in the last 6 months under her wisdom, patience, support, understanding, guidance, love and encouragement. Thru our work together I have a deeper understanding and love for myself. I am now able to take my own coaching clients further in their personal journey. When one so precious gives of their wisdom and love it cannot help but spread, lives touching lives, through out all the world. Thank You Ruth, you are truly amazing."
Sandy Tremp, Life Coach, Phoenix, AZ (USA)
"I am very happy I picked you to be my coach. I am particularly pleased because you use your intuition in the coaching process which makes it much 'smoother', and it helps me feel like we are on the same wavelength. It also helps us get to the important issues that much quicker! When we spoke over the phone the first time, I felt that you use your intuition more than any other coach I had spoken with. You've also helped me look at my life with someone else's eyes - now I ask myself questions that you might ask during the call. It is more fun doing it together though! You've been very supportive, intuitive, efficient and fun as a coach, and above all non-judgemental."
M.S. Engineer and Teacher. (UK & Europe).
Many thanks for your invaluable support. I wouldn't have got this far without you"
C.L. Journalist, Lancashire (UK)
"I feel both the articles and the coaching itself are extremely helpful, being removed from one's normal environment makes it feel somewhat safer to admit that things could be better, if only we knew how to change - well now we can find out."
S.W.Anaesthetist.(UK)
"[coaching] worked/works like magic! I got through the last 2 weeks... with a much better spirit - using visualisation and affirmation. ..have already presented a seminar.. with help of noticing first signs of tension/panic, breathing and affirmations and it was good. Thank You!!"
M.S. Student Midwife, Scotland(UK)
"During the past six months, I have been fortunate enough to benefit from the services which Ruth provides to assist me through a period of personal and professional crisis. I initially used Ruth's telephone coaching service and more recently the e-coaching service. Without the foundation of professional integrity, warmth and mutual respect which Ruth quickly established, it would not be possible to feel in a "safe enough environment" in which to endeavour to further my personal and professional development. I have often found the advice or suggestions which Ruth offers to be hard to fully grasp or even believe on first hearing. However, so far I have invariably found her ideas to be worth either persevering with or revisiting at a later date. Moreover I have found my confidence in Ruth's coaching (and my subsequent courage to face current and future challenges) further strengthened by reference to other resources such as books and professionals from other disciplines. Using a personal coach is a good example in itself of trying something new which originally felt like moving into uncertain (and frightening) territory. My personal views have changed significantly concerning working with Ruth to such an extent that I would now unreservedly recommend Ruth's services to people from all age groups and walks of life. I have found regular reviews of my progress with Ruth to be invaluable measures and reminders of how much I have achieved and progressed during the past few months. This also serves as inspiration for continuing to work hard with, and get the best from Ruth and her diverse talents and experience. Ruth has made a significant contribution on my journey towards self-discovery and self-worth. I realise that regardless of how long I work with Ruth, there will be many of the changes I am in the process of incorporating into my life including key phrases, topics and advice which will be useful in the future. In particular this would relate to the degree to which one should value and care for oneself."
Clare Robson, IT consultant, North Wales.(UK)
"When I first contacted Ruth I didn't know which direction to take in my life. I had lost my job through chronic fatigue and felt bewildered and unsure about the future. Assisted by Ruth's amazing gift of directing me to look inside myself for answers and not externally. I am now on a wonderful journey of self discovery and growth. Ruth has a unique ability to assist you in the realisation that everyday experiences and feelings, no matter how painful, are opportunities for spiritual growth, and should be honoured. I am no longer worrying about my future, as I know that through the wonderful work I am doing with Ruth, it will become clear, when I am ready."
Myra Wylupek, Edinburgh, Scotland.(UK)
"When I asked Ruth to be my coach, I was facing a huge crisis at work and was on the verge of handing in my notice as a teacher. My self-confidence was very low and I hardly dared believe that I could take control of my life and start to enjoy life again. After speaking to Ruth for an initial chat, I felt exhilarated and confident that I had found a great genuine coach who would help me to become the best I could be. I have had Ruth as a coach for four months and I can only marvel at the changes in my life. I have been able to turn the situation around at work and am now looking forward to moving on in my career. Ruth's coaching sessions have afforded me the chance to regain my self esteem and sense of purpose; her intuition and insights are so helpful and relevant - everything begins to fall into place after a few sessions; I have never felt better. Deciding to work with Ruth is one of the most wonderful and life-enhancing decisions I have ever made; I only wish I'd done this earlier. I cannot speak too highly of Ruth's continual support, empathic manner and superb coaching abilities. Ruth is the dream coach who has given me the confidence to stop worrying and start living again. My quality of life has improved immeasurably in all areas from my career to my social life. I cannot praise Ruth's services enough - I would heartily recommend Ruth's coaching to anyone. Being coached by Ruth is one of the most rewarding relationships I have ever had."
Sue Jamieson, Liverpool, England.(UK)
"Ruth's coaching has helped me to gain the confidence to admit to myself and others that I had chosen the wrong career for me and has given me valuable tools to help me find my true vocation and get from an unrewarding life on to the path to an exciting future doing things that I love"
FLW, UK
"If you do not change direction, you'll end up where you are heading" - Lao Tzu."I feel this quote best sums up the position I was in before coaching. Together we prioritised career options, gave me courage to change negative situations into ones I can take control of and be in a positive position. I have gained a new purpose through my course and the hope of a career in this area. You helped me start this journey."
KP, Lancashire, UK.
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| A FREE online feature to print off and read. Written by Kathleenruth |
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The Coaching Corner series: How fear drives your decision making
©The Practising Midwife.Reproduced with permission. An original article written by Ruth for The Practising Midwife Journal. This article appeared in the June 2002 issue (Volume 5 Number 6) |
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Heather is afraid to make a life-changing decision
How do you make key decisions involving your practise, your career and your life? We'd like to think we take an all round view of the various factors involved before arriving at a carefully thought out, intelligent, decision. Yet some psychologists suggest it simply boils down to whether we are motivated by the pursuit of pleasure (appetitive motivation) or the avoidance of pain (aversive motivation) (Bozarth, 1994).
Coaching case study
Heather is a 28 year old staff midwife. On qualifying she worked for 3 years in a forward-looking unit providing midwifery led care. Her recent re-location to another town, because of her husbands promotion, has entailed her taking up a post in a maternity unit where she has never worked before. She has been there six months and is struggling to adapt to the culture in her new workplace
The coaching conversation
Coach: Hello Heather how are you?
Heather: I'm fine. I can't decide what to do though… should I stay in this post or should I leave?
Coach: What are some of the issues facing you, Heather?
Heather: This unit is so medical oriented. I am having a hard time adjusting. I don't get the opportunity to practice the midwife-led care that I'm used to. It's so different from where I worked before and I feel like I've really made a wrong move.
Coach: What prevents you from practising the way you would like to?
Heather: (sigh) It's the whole culture of the place. They don't leave you alone, the senior midwives and doctors come into a delivery room where you are caring for a woman and start telling you what they think you should do. It's very unsettling for the women and I find it really annoying and embarassing. I feel I have no autonomy.
Coach: Have you spoken to them and asked to be left alone unless you ask for help?
Heather: I've sort of tried but they don't listen and don't seem very approachable. With not having been there long, I don't want to rock the boat. I'm afraid they'll think I'm a trouble maker and I'll be an outcast.
Coach: Have you considered moving to a unit where the care is more woman-centred?
Heather: Yes there is a midwife-led unit I'm interested in. It involves travelling though.
Coach: Tell me what the main issues are for you in considering a move.
Heather: I've hardly been here 2 minutes. It looks like I'm a quitter. I really wanted to work in this unit because it's so near to where I live. My husband works nearby and drops me in work and depending on his shift he either picks me up or I walk. We use one car. It's so convenient, yet I feel trapped. I'd feel like a failure if I quit now... like I haven't really given it a chance.. yet if I stay much longer I might become despondent and lose my passion for midwifery.
I'm afraid they'll think I'm a trouble-maker and I'll be outcast
Coach: It seems to me, Heather, that you are motivated by fear, rather than pleasure. You are 'trapped' by your own fears. Your fear of what others will think. Your fear of being a failure. Your fear of being an outcast. What would you do if you had no fear?
Heather: Hmm… that's difficult. I suppose if I was fearless I'd just go and work where I was happiest and damn the consequences!
Coach: Ah! Let's look at that for a minute, Heather, what might those consequences be?
Heather: Hmm… I don't really know, except it would mean more expense on my part… but we'd manage. And I'd be a lot happier.
Coach: Is your happiness and fulfillment worth the extra expense?
Heather: Yes!
Coach: Yes. Heather you have a choice here. You can choose the easy option and be happy and fulfilled, or you can choose to stay in fear and continue to struggle. It's simply a choice, Heather: pleasure or pain?
Heather: Wow. It seems so simple when you put it like that.
Coach: That's because it is simple, Heather. We make things so complicated sometimes when really they are simple.
Heather: I'm going to make enquiries at the midwifery unit as soon as I get home. I know the manager there and I'm going to call her. She's even asked me before if I'm interested and I said it was too far!
Coach: Good for you, Heather. Will you let me know how you get on?
Heather: Sure thing, and thank you for helping me to clarify my thoughts!
Review points
Let's look at what happened:
- Heather was indecisive and afraid.
- The coach highlighted how fear was blocking her decision making.
- Heather shifted her perspective and became clear where her passion was.
- She made a decision to pursue her passion, forfeit the extra expense, and choose greater fulfillment in her work.
Quite often we wonder why we feel unhappy. Things are okay, but nothing special. It may be that you are in a post where you are not fully satisfied but you stay put because of fear. Heather feared change, what others think and ostracisation. Once she switched her perspective to consider doing what she really loves, her passion (and her solution) became clear. Try switching your perspective to allow for the pursuit of pleasure. If you were to pursue your passion - what really gives you pleasure, satisfaction and fulfillment - what would you be doing now?
Reference:
Bozarth, M.A. (1994) Pleasure Systems in the Brain. Internet document located at: http://wings.buffalo.edu/aru/ARUreport01.htm
Accessed May 10, 2002.
Feedback:
"I've meant for ages to get back to you to say whatever it was... it worked/works like magic! I got through the last 2 weeks placement with a much better spirit - using visualisation and affirmation. Now I am in college for 12 weeks and have already given a seminar to the class with the help of
1) noticing the first signs of tension/panic,
2)breathing and
3) affirmations,
and it was good. Thank you"
"I take the above publication although I am not a midwife but teach antenatal classes for the NCT. [National Childbirth Trust] Since Coaching Corner became a regular feature I have been riveted to it. Each month it is the first article that I turn to and am always hoping for more when I reach the end. It is so encouraging to see what other people can do to transform their lives and gives great hope to those of us who would dearly love to but are still summoning up the courage. From the very first article I thought that maybe this was what I needed but it took a few months to reach for the phone and call Ruth for a coaching session. We really are our own worst enemies and I need not have been worried.
My session lasted about an hour and even in that short time learnt several things about myself that I was either unaware of or was unable to admit to myself. Ruth simply encourages you to work things out for yourself, with a few gentle prods to set you off in the right direction. She was most encouraging and has given me several things to think about and things to do. When I have finished those I may well be back for another session.
I feel both the articles and the coaching itself are extremely helpful, being removed from one's normal environment makes it feel somewhat safer to admit that things could be better, if only we knew how to change - well now we can find out."
"thank you so much for your assistance during our call, it highlighted so many areas of personal development, your a star!
From the session, I gained so many developmental points. Things such as:
1. how to manage a situation where you feel you need to discuss how it made you feel. Empowering yourself to be assertive but not rude or threatening to the other person, so achieving your aim.
2.coping strategies for interpersonal relationships and how to protect and manage yourself to be constructive, but self developing.
3.self value and worth to be right, and wrong
4.that empowerment does not have to be critical of yourself and judgmental of yourself and others.
5. what everyone else thinks is truely non of my business so why try to change and suit people, just be me.
I cant tell you how much you helped me Ruth, thank you."
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